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curcol, AGAIN

i don't know how to tell you this felling through words. it's all on my head, i had tried it for several time, but i just can't. talking to you is like a war you know. this mouth kept talking badly to you, but it wasn't the truth. the truth is i love you.
i know it was really impossible, and i don't want to ruin our happiness. i'll keep it as it is now, i don't wanna changed it, really. i'll keep it deep inside my heart. you know, loving you is killing me. never in my life i felt this way before. step back before the war began, and its kinda sad actually. never try something that you always want to, but i wasn't blame you. i'm just too scared of losing you.
everyday, seeing you is happiness and also sorrow. there's a part of me that wanting you, but another part is want to see you from the distance. it has no enough courage to battle with the fear. it was the way i felt it now. really, i wanna say that i love you. really really wanna say it. when we played together, laughed, have some fun, it's killing me. when you hold my hands, i know you have no other purpose, but it still makes my heart wanting you even more.
it's pathetic to see the way i love you now. but what can i say? i can't lie with my own feelings, can i?

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jakarta, Indonesia
i love to be loved, i just can stand about sadness because it will makes my tears come down. i do love beach and swim, i just can't wait to play with the waves. people's always said that i am moody, and i think it's kinda true. i love my friends and my family so much

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